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Friday, 6 September 2013

Top 10 Jokes ever told



Top 10 Jokes ever told...!!



1-I know 10 facts about you:
Fact 1: You are reading this.
Fact 2: You can't say the letter 'm' without touching your lips.
Fact 3: You just tried it. 
Fact 4: You're smiling. 
Fact 6: You're smiling or laughing again. 
Fact 7: You didn't notice I missed fact 5. 
Fact 8: You just checked it.
Fact 9: You're smiling again. 
Fact 10: You like this and you're going to rate or comment. :) 


2-1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of 
the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and 
tell him off. 
Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'

3-Police: where do you live?
Me: with my parents
Police: where does your parents live?
Me: with me
Police: where do you all live?
Me: together
Police: where is your house?
Me: next to my neighbors house
Police: where is your neighbors house?
Me: if i tell you u wont believe me.
Police: tell me
Me: next to my house


4-Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.


5-Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No... Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *walks away*


6-3 years old: My mom is the best! 
7 years old: Mom I love you!
10 years old: Mom what ever!
17 years old: OMG my mom is so annoying! 
25 years old: I wanna go back home! 
35 years old: Mom you were right 
50 years old: I dont wanna lose my mom!
70 years old: I would give everything to have my mom with me!


7-i believe i can flyyy
got shot by the pizza guyyy
all i wanted was some onion ringggss
from McDonald's or Burgerkinggg
I believe i can soarrrr
mom slapped me in the grocery storeee
Even though im 24 I still got an imaginary dinosoarrrrr
I believe i can falllll I tripped on a bouncey ballll
Thought id post this funny jokes. Even though i got no votes.


8-Cop: "Did you kill this man?"
Me: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground.
The ground is part of nature.He died of natural causes. Case closed."


9-When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think its cute.
I just think it's crazy how many people bring knives on a date.


10-To do list:
1. Buy a sword
2. Name it Kindness 
3. Kill people with Kindness 

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